I had on the other hand taken a few steps ahead which for the purposes of this blog must remain secret for now.
S. does not know about the existence of this blog yet. I think it is best if he receives a few surprises on the the 4th, that famous 4th, a url to this blog for example and a few other things. I am in the middle of planning these other things. I want to put a lot of effort into the quitting process and I want him to know about this too, in due course and that I am going to completely support him.
Today there were a few spots of frustrations. He gets this way sometimes. On such occasions I don't get why something so unimportant can become such a big issue, I don't see why he doesn't give more information, why repeating the same words is better than explaining something I don't get straight away. Or others don't get straight away. After the first little rage today I thought to myself, oh, well, he has these moments, but these moments are such minority compared to the amount of greatness, support and appreciation I receive from him every day. Then suddenly, came his next eruption (in which he was frustrated with me, which then frustrated me, which frustrated him...). These are not easy. And I thought to myself I must get used to this as this is exactly the way he will be (or even worse) when he quits smoking. So I must prepare myself. If that is at all possible.
I am doing a lot of planning. I am trying to plan things so that in the first few weeks, first few months he is kept occupied and happy, as much as it is possible and in my power. As I am planning on my own I have to keep a lot of secrets.
It's odd being secretive on my own blog as it is lonesome enough writing the posts themselves. So I am on my own and I am being secretive. That's a bit odd. Anyways, the point is to have a few surprises ready for S. I must keep secrets.
Today there were a few spots of frustrations. He gets this way sometimes. On such occasions I don't get why something so unimportant can become such a big issue, I don't see why he doesn't give more information, why repeating the same words is better than explaining something I don't get straight away. Or others don't get straight away. After the first little rage today I thought to myself, oh, well, he has these moments, but these moments are such minority compared to the amount of greatness, support and appreciation I receive from him every day. Then suddenly, came his next eruption (in which he was frustrated with me, which then frustrated me, which frustrated him...). These are not easy. And I thought to myself I must get used to this as this is exactly the way he will be (or even worse) when he quits smoking. So I must prepare myself. If that is at all possible.
I am doing a lot of planning. I am trying to plan things so that in the first few weeks, first few months he is kept occupied and happy, as much as it is possible and in my power. As I am planning on my own I have to keep a lot of secrets.
It's odd being secretive on my own blog as it is lonesome enough writing the posts themselves. So I am on my own and I am being secretive. That's a bit odd. Anyways, the point is to have a few surprises ready for S. I must keep secrets.
Keep the secrets, keep the secrets.
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