The weekend away with friends went really-really well. Lotsa laughter, but some serious talking as well. Good stuff.
But to rewind just a bit, I want to write down what it was like when S. received my letters.
A few days before we arrived to Budapest, I was told by his Dad, A. and his wife, Zs. that my letters had arrived and what should they do about them. I said keep the letters and give them to him when we arrive from the airport.
S. opened the letters and didn't say much. I thought, oh, dear, he doesn't want to do it.
A. and Zs. were like two curious kids, tell me, tell me what the letters are about!
It was a strange moment, as it was a surprise and there might be many others for him, but in a way it is not the usual, all happy-happy surprise. It's not going to be very easy now, is it.
But in a bit S. showed them the letter, then left the kitchen to do something in another room. Then Zs. read it and soon she too left the kitchen. She too is a heavy smoker. Not sure what she felt about this whole thing. A. stayed behind, read the letters, kissed me on the cheek and said something encouraging to me. He thought it is a very good idea what we are about to do.
Looking back I wasn't sure whether I did the right thing. Perhaps S. would have wanted to keep this all to himself at first. And tell others when he is ready. I sort of made that decision for him. Now that I think about it, I think it was in fact the right decision. Telling people that you are taking this major step is a good decision. Some people might make bad remarks, others might ask too often how it's going. But if you tell the right people, they might be able to offer some help, to also take time and concentrate on keeping you focused on other things. And it's also important to have people who are proud of you. And they need to tell you that. If they don't know it's happening, they can't show you their appreciation.
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