I conducted the first of these interviews on Skype yesterday. É., will be 80 in a few months. Her mother was my adopted grandmother. So along with my grandmother my family and I adopted É. too, her and her family. This was many-many years ago. It doesn't matter anymore who adopted who.
So here is É.'s story.
AV: When and why did you smoke your first cigarette?
É: I don't remember my very first cigarette. What I do remember was that it was a totally conscious decision. I spent my whole childhood knowing that one day I would smoke. You see, my grandmother, Sz.'s brother smoked a lot. This uncle, he was in labour service and died during the war. His smoking ritual was the most beautiful thing. The way he rolled a cigarette, the tobacco, the cigarette paper, I can still see it today, he rolled it, than he licked the paper, always, he always licked the cigarette paper. It was simply delicious. I loved watching this whole procedure. So I imitated him as a child and I took pieces of toilet paper and rolled them up like a cigarette, licked it and letting it dangle from my mouth. Of course it always became soggy soon, dripping from saliva. So I rolled another one. I just loved that ritual. My Mother, K. saw this and asked me to at least wait until I was 18 to start smoking. So I thought no problem, but I knew for sure that the moment I turn eighteen, I will start smoking. I turned eighteen and I lit my very first cigarette. I smoked for more than 40 years after that. It was a conscious decision.
AV: How did you quit?
É: My Mother ("Anyám") had heard about a Health Centre nearby which had offered a quit smoking service. They said they would pay half the fee and you only had to pay the other half. This was at the end of the 80's and 12 000 Forints (35 GBP) was a lot of money in those days. The Health Centre would pay the other 12. They gave me nicotine patches to wear for about a month. I had to put them on myself, one day on the right arm, the next day on the left arm, and so on. The amount of nicotine within the patches depended on how much you had smoked. I smoked about 20 a day. My Mother was so eager for me to quit that she offered to pay out part of the fee. To my surprise the people at the centre were nice, they did not pressure me, didn't tell me all the bad things that would happen to me if I wouldn't quit. I asked them what would happen if I smoked a cigarette while having a patch on me, they said I might get nicotine poisoning. Whether this was true or not, I don't know, but it did scare me to death at the time.
AV: Who or what made you quit?
É: My Mother. She was on my case about this all the time. She had heard a lot of bad things about smoking. She wanted me to quit very badly. And you know how she was when she wanted something to get done... It was also very expensive to smoke. I am really glad now that I quit.
I remember my last cigarette. We were with M. and family, you know they have a country house, we arrived there, I got out of the car. I had a cigarette and I knew it was to be the last one. I had smoked for more than 40 years.
AV: Apart from the health centre, was there anything else that helped you?
É: I know people like to have candy or something to chew on, but I was never a fan of sweets. So I bought myself an inhalator with a mint taste. I chewed on this, all the time, like crazy. Than when it fell apart, I bought another one. And another one.
These days I hear one can buy electronic cigarettes. That must be helpful, too, but I bet it still doesn't feel as good as the real thing.
When I was pregnant, nobody warned me, nobody said to me you shouldn't smoke as it can harm the child. There were so many things back than that they never warned you about. If you had a miscarriage, they just said, well, that's just the way it is.
AV: What do you miss the most about it?
É.: The whole ceremony of it, for sure. Taking the lighter out, that first inhale is sooo good.
AV: How long did it take you to fully quit?
É: It's now been about 20 years. Yes, 20 years this year. It took me many, many-many long years to really quit. It never bothered me if others smoked around me, but it still took me a long time. For years I thought oh, how wonderful it would be to have a smoke. With my coffee, just one after this meal, when we went out, oh, boy, it would be great to light up. But I didn't. It took years. I know there are people who quit for years and then because of some event in their life they suddenly go back to smoking as if nothing had happened.
You know what they say. You can't really quit smoking. All you can do is stop.
AV: Any tricks or advice for someone who is trying to quit?
É: Patches worked for me. Perhaps try getting an X-ray of his lungs now, after smoking intensively for so many years and then again after a half year or a year. So that he can see the difference in what his lungs look like. That might be effective.
But the truth is, it is down to just one thing. It depends on you, your willpower, nothing else.
No comments:
Post a Comment